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Today isn’t an exciting day for me. I have to go to court. Long ago on a cold but bright winter’s day I got in a car accident. Of course, it seems to me very much like an accident- completely unavoidable. The state patrol officer seemed to think otherwise. Since then I’ve justified myself and railed against the idea that apparently I am to be guilty until proven innocent- considering the difficulty it takes to remove the label and fine that have already been given to me. I feel somewhat helpless and oppressed both to prevent a similar accident and to be proven innocent in this one. Which leads me to the three lessons I (hope) I am learning. 

1) I’m really not in control. Of much of anything. Not the universe, not the sun that blinded me, not the other driver, not the car I was driving, not the life that I still have despite crashing on the freeway. 

2) Complete justice is not possible here and now, not with humans. In fact, I really ought to expect injustice. Not that no one cares about justice, the state patrol officer for example was most likely doing exactly what he thought just. It’s just that he is not all-knowing and he is not all-good. 

3) God has been merciful to me. He was merciful to spare my life and that of the other driver. He has been merciful in not holding my sins against me but wiping them clean, declaring me innocent when in fact I am guilty. He is gracious in giving me breath, in guiding me, and He is also just; and even though I’m not really in control of anything, He is. 

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